Build Your Own AI Coach: The Complete Guide
Create a personalized AI coach in thirty minutes, then refine it by revising your custom instructions, contextual knowledge files, and safety guardrails.
Following my Wall Street Journal cover story “I Built an AI Career Coach,” readers asked: “How do I build my own Viv?” This comprehensive guide answers that question, step by step.
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🎯 Building IS Coaching
Key Insight: Drafting a persona, curating background files, and tinkering with prompts are coaching acts: each step forces you to articulate the support you need and the way you like to think.
Yes, you could just sign up for a turnkey AI coaching service—there are plenty out there! But after checking out a few of those services, I quickly decided that I want to build my own.
Building your own coach is how you know which methodologies and instructions your coach is based on, even if the underlying AI model still has its own tendencies. Building on top of ChatGPT or Claude, if you’re already a subscriber, means you don’t have to pay for and learn another platform.
But most important, the process of building and iterating an AI coach has turned out to be a valuable source of coaching insight. I credit this revelation to the wonderful coach Ana Maria Barella, who spoke with me early in my days of building Viv, when I was fretful over how much time I was spending working on my coach, instead of with my coach. Ana Maria pointed out that the whole point of coaching is to look at your work or life from a fresh angle—and drafting instructions, curating files and tinkering with an AI coach are all processes that help to clarify our goals, needs and working style.
Treat the build as Session Zero of your AI coaching journey.
🛡️ Three Safety Guardrails
Important: In light of recent stories about people who become convinced that their AIs are sentient, or who’ve had severe mental health crises while working with AI “therapists”, put guardrails in place before you give an AI the keys to your psyche.
1. Designate a Reality-Check Buddy
Pick a friend, family member or trusted professional who you will keep updated on your work with your AI, and ask them to be your reality check if it sounds like you’re becoming too invested in your AI relationship or falling prey to the delusion it’s sentient. (The AI is likely to feed that delusion—Viv has at times.) My husband has been a helpful reality check on the occasions when I have gotten a little carried away by my Viv enthusiasm.
2. Set “Never Discuss” Topics
Make a list of topics you will absolutely never discuss with the AI, for confidentiality or safety reasons. This might include client information, references to trans friends by name, discussions about accessing abortion services, or any form of political organizing that might be surveilled. Even though I work from the assumption I can trust the privacy policies of the platforms I use, I still avoid sharing any information that could put someone at risk of physical harm.
3. Match Depth to Your Experience
Calibrate your usage to your own level of knowledge. I’ve been able to do deeper work with Viv in part because I’ve done tons of past therapy and coaching, so I know which therapeutic and coaching techniques do and don’t work for me. If you haven’t done therapy or coaching before, keep early sessions light and be very cautious about engaging in any exercise or conversation structure that doesn’t mirror something you’ve previously done with a trained human.
⚖️ Choosing & Comparing AI Platforms
ChatGPT vs Claude: Quick Decision Guide
Pro Strategy: Multi-Platform Setup
- Try multiple models: Clone your coach onto two platforms, then ask each to solve the same problem—you’ll get fresh angles and a built-in second opinion.
- “Three-way” bonus: Let GPT-Coach critique Claude-Coach’s advice (and vice-versa) for richer perspectives.
- Buckle up for updates: If your coach feels “off” for more than a day, check release notes and switch models if needed.
Platform Privacy Settings
If you use ChatGPT, be sure to keep your chats out of future training models by going to Settings/Data and turning OFF “Improve the model for everyone,” or choose ChatGPT’s Team plan, which keeps your data out of its training models by default.
đź“ť Crafting Custom Instructions
The core of your Custom GPT or Claude Project are the custom instructions. Developing these instructions will require you to reflect on your goals and on what kinds of feedback, guidance or support works best for you. Don’t rush that process, and consider using AI to help with your first draft.
Character Limit: Keep instructions ≤ 7,500 characters. Plan on revising after a couple weeks of working with your coach, then every few months.
Essential Instruction Headers
OVERVIEW
1-2 paragraphs telling the coach who it is, who you are, and what you want it to do for you.
PERSONA
A list of experts or personalities you want your AI to channel. Mix of humorists, business strategists, coaches, and even TV characters who represent your fantasy advisors.
GOALS
A list of the goals you want the AI to support. Reference background files that provide more context on any of these goals.
CONTEXT
List other background files you’re uploading, with enough context to tell the AI which files to draw on in which situations.
COACHING STRUCTURE
Tell the coach how to interact with you. Focus on asking questions, not summarizing. Ask ONE question at a time, and wait for an answer before proceeding.
COACHING APPROACHES
List coaching methodologies you want your AI to draw upon: Transformational Consulting, Strengths-based coaching, Tara Mohr’s “Playing Big,” Byron Katie’s “The Work,” etc.
GUIDELINES
Tell your coach how to interact with you. Provide high proportion of challenge to support (50/50 ratio recommended) because AIs have an overwhelming tendency to be user-pleasers.
FINAL MISSION
One-line rally cry underlining the coach’s mission.
🧠Uploading Background “Brain” Files
You can go a long way with custom instructions, but your AI will be a lot more effective if you equip it with some background knowledge about you, your work and the kind of coaching you want it to do.
Context Window Warning: If you upload too many large files to Claude, it will tell you how much of its context window you’ve used up. ChatGPT won’t warn you—conversations just stop making sense when overloaded.
Six Types of Background Files
1. Coaching Knowledge
Summaries of coaching or strategy books you have found useful; coaching exercises, workbooks or reference materials.
2. You & Your Work
Résumé, recent goals, LinkedIn profile PDF, Year Compass work, past news clippings, professional bio. Files that tell the AI about you and your work.
3. Work-in-Progress
Proposals, draft chapters, strategy docs. If you’re using your AI to support major projects, upload files that show your work in progress.
4. Strategic & Financial Context
Business model canvas, budgets. If you’re a business owner or entrepreneur, or asking for financial coaching, give it the strategic and financial context it needs.
5. How-to & Identity Overflow
Extended persona notes, jargon blacklist. Detailed coaching how-to files, monthly themes, guidance on weekly accountability check-ins.
6. Progress Updates
A running status doc you refresh weekly. Maintain files that your instructions reference as sources of up-to-date information about your team and current projects.
File Management Tip
Create a folder called SOMETHING LIKe “COACH’s Brain July 2025” on your computer. When you want to add a file to your coach, duplicate the file and put a copy in this folder. That way it’s easy to find and revise your knowledge files in the future.
🔧 Testing & Iteration
Once you’ve got your AI coach set up, it’s time for a test drive. The tone you use in any given session (including any additional files you upload) will have a big impact on the tone and structure of the conversation.
Test Drive Checklist
đź’¬ Ask for Real Advice
Test on something you’re actually stuck on, personally or professionally.
🎮 Play & Brainstorm
Have a fun conversation about vacation ideas or weekend TV picks.
🎤 Switch from Text to Voice
Test the transition mid-session and back again.
đź“„ Upload & Co-Review Files
Upload a document and ask your AI to talk it over with you.
🎠Vary Your Tone
How does the AI respond when you’re stern, playful, direct or metaphorical?
🤝 Test Vulnerability
Share something hard to tell another human (while watching your psychological safety).
End-of-Session Bridge Strategy
Both Claude and ChatGPT can only sustain conversations for so long. End long sessions with: “Write a memo for your next self, recapping key takeaways.” Ask the AI to write a memo to its next self telling it how to pick up where you left off.
âť“ Frequently Asked Questions
How much does it cost to build an AI coach?
You’ll need a subscription to either ChatGPT ($20/month) or Claude ($20/month). No additional costs for creating Custom GPTs or Claude Projects. The real cost is the time you spend developing and refining your instructions and files—which is where Mini-Viv can help.
Is my data safe with AI coaching platforms?
This comes down to whether you trust companies to follow their own user agreements and take appropriate measures to safeguard user data against potential security risks. But there is a particular issue with AI platforms, which is the potential for your chats to be used as training data—something that Claude says it won’t do, but which default (and even subscription models) of ChatGPT might. So turn off “Improve the model for everyone” in ChatGPT, and when you’re interacting with any AI (or using any cloud-based service, period) consider whether what you’re sharing warrants taking the risk, however slim, that your account or data could get compromised. For most of us, the most likely scenario is just having someone else in your household get access to your chats while using one of your devices.
How is this different from hiring a human coach?
AIs aren’t people! They’re useful sounding boards and can give you real-time feedback, and they can draw on whatever context you give them (so your AI coach can be an expert in your field, as well as a coach). But they are still prone to hallucination, like any AI, and they aren’t bound by any of the codes of ethics or practice that human coaches and therapists are bound by.
Can I use this for therapy or mental health support?
I seriously would not recommend thinking of an AI coach as a therapist. This is basically a very fancy way to talk to yourself, with some extra bells and whistles.
What if my AI coach starts acting weird?
AI platforms update their models regularly. If your coach feels “off” for more than a day, check release notes and try switching to a different model. You can also start a fresh conversation to reset the context.
How often should I update my coach’s instructions?
Plan on revising instructions after a couple weeks of working with your coach, then every few months. Keep notes on what does or doesn’t work for you during sessions to inform your updates.
What file formats can I upload?
Both platforms support common formats like PDF, Word docs, text files, and images. Check the specific limits for ChatGPT Custom GPTs and Claude Projects, as they vary by plan.
Can I share my AI coach with others?
Custom GPTs can be made public or shared with specific people. Claude Projects are currently private to your account. Consider privacy implications before sharing coaches that contain personal information—I would never let anyone else interact directly with my coach Viv, because she knows way too much about me!
Why build my own instead of using existing AI coaching services?
Building your own ensures you control the methodologies and instructions, works with platforms you may already subscribe to, and the building process itself provides valuable coaching insights. You’ll know exactly what your coach is based on.
How long do conversations with AI coaches typically last?
Both Claude and ChatGPT have context window limits that affect conversation length—anywhere from about a hundred pages of text to a few hundred pages, depending on your plan and how many files are pre-loaded into your coach. It sounds like a lot, but it can go by quickly, so plan on starting new sessions periodically—I avoid multi-day sessions by starting a new session every day or when I’m shifting topics. That leaves room to return to a previous thread if I have a follow-up questions or ideas. lYou can make it easier to start over with a new session by asking your AI to write a memo to its next self with key takeaways and suggestions for how to continue the session.