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8 hot ways Evernote can spice up your sex life

by Alex in | | | |

“For doing your taxes”. “For shopping and to-do lists”. “For home improvement projects”. These are three of the very practical suggestions the Evernote blog has to offer as part of their 8 great ways couples can use Evernote shared notebooks blog post, which I just stumbled across today.

But I worry that their list may perpetuate the stereotype of computer geeks as nerdy and sexless — or worse yet, get Evernote users so absorbed in household efficiency that they forget to have sex at all. (And then where would Evernote get its next generation of users? This is a very short-sighted business strategy.)

So let me step into the breach, and offer all those Evernote-using couples 8 tips on how they can use their favourite note taking application to improve life inside the bedroom as well as outside of it:

Elephants have sex at the Berlin Zoo, from Wikimedia

  1. Create a sex stack: I know it sounds like a sexual position or a new kind of sex swing, but in this case I am advocating for the creation of a notebook stack in Evernote that you dedicate to the notes and notebooks you create to enhance your sex life. Your stack should include an all-purpose “sex life” notebook as well as specialized notebooks I suggest below.
  2. Write your own sex manual: Whether you’re browsing the web for porn or for sex advice, you may stumble across interesting ideas for spicing up your love life, or useful information about sexual health issues. Use Evernote’s web clipper to add them to a private manual of sexual advice and inspiration.
  3. Start a sex calendar: Yes, we all know that sex is supposed to be this delightfully spontaneous act where you tear each other’s clothes off whenever the urge seizes you.  But those of us who have been together for more than a few years, or more than a couple of kids, sometimes have to book time for sex. Put your sex schedule in Evernote, and sign up for specific dates when you’ll each take responsibility for making that night something special.
  4. Maintain a sexual shopping list: Whether you’re stocking up on condoms or saucy lingerie, there’s always a role for retail in the bedroom. Maintain a shared shopping list for items that either one of you can pick up on the next drugstore or grocery run (strawberries? check. whipped cream? check.) and separate shopping lists for naughty things you can buy to surprise one another.
  5. Collect your turn-ons: Have you spotted an image that turns your crank? Read something that got your juices flowing? Give your partner a new take on what turns you on by clipping whatever gets you hot to a shared notebook, and build a collaborative collection of erotica.
  6. Start a bucket list: Start a note or notebook to collect all the places and ways you want to have sex.  If you read about romantic hotels or interesting new techniques, use Evernote’s web clipper to add them to a “try this in bed” notebook, and treat it like a sexual to-do list. Make sure to include a checklist so you can notch your virtual bedpost when your fantasies are realized.
  7. Map your sex life: Start a a sex journal (you may not want a notebook named “Sex Journal”, but I’m sure you can think of something clever and cryptic) and use it to log your sexual encounters — even if all you do is note the date.  Use your smartphone to log each encounter, and your entries will be automatically geo-tagged. Then use the iPad or Android client app to see a map of everywhere you and your sweetie have done the deed! Not only is this satisfyingly nerdy, but when printed it will make a lovely heirloom that I’m sure your children will treasure.
  8. Forget sexting, and try Evernoodling: Sexy chat is all well and good, but who wants to go searching through their SMS history to find the sexy message your honey sent you six months ago? Start a smut sharing notebook in Evernote, and use it to share dirty stories you write for one another, sexy messages and naughty pictures. Just be damn careful about who you invite into that notebook.

Of course, not every sex-enhancing Evernote use needs be quite so explicitly sexual. If you really want Evernote to enhance your sex life, use it in any way that helps you and your sweetie stay more closely and intimately connected.

One romantic idea: keeping a log of all the little moments when she has surprised or delighted you, or all the things he’s done that have turned you on. Save it up for an anniversary or Valentine’s Day, and then hand over the keys. I can pretty much guarantee that you’ll get lucky.

First posted on July 18,2012
  • James

    Awesome.

  • http://www.todmaffin.com/ Tod Maffin

    Best. Linkbait. Ever. ;-)

  • Gregg Hamilton

    Don’t know what Evernote is, but I’ve gotta get me some.

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