10 funny things to read or do online from a hotel room

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Dear Bored Travellers of Earth, I am assuming that if you were horny you would be googling different keywords. So I am figuring you are merely looking for amusement, which is why I have rounded up some blog posts that point you towards moderately entertaining activities, or which may even be enjoyable reading in an of themselves. The great thing about you, Bored Travellers, is that I don’t have to rock your world: I merely have to be more interesting than whatever is on the closed circuit TV channel at 2 am, or at least, offer something you can read in the bathroom.

Here are 10 posts that are cheaper than pay-per-view:

  1. Make a list of your secret dating criteria. Not the things you put on a dating profile — the stuff that really matters.
  2. Post your first (or next) 21 tweets. Or just make fun of people who tweet in an incredibly tedious, formulaic way.
  3. Find out what the Internet secretly looked like in 1971.
  4. Take pictures of the most interesting graffiti or signage in the bathroom. This works best if you’re staying in a dodgy hotel; the swanky ones tend to keep the walls clean).
  5. Imagine glorious or entertaining ways you might die. For added poignancy, imagine them happening in this very hotel room.
  6. Take an inventory of the cords you felt the need to pack and consider which unresolved childhood issues they represent.
  7. Test yourself for menu bar blindness, America’s secret killer annoyance.
  8. Watch whatever Star Trek episode happens to be on, and decide whether it’s appropriate for your kids to watch it. If you don’t (yet) have kids, contemplate the advisability of creating offspring that take years to reach Star Trek-watching age.
  9. Put on your pyjamas and look in the mirror. With that image fixed in your head, start culling your Facebook friends.
  10. Play with the hotel gaming system and see if it conjures up deep insights into what life was like in 1997. It certainly won’t inspire you with visions of 2020.
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